My Thoughts
I miss you... Feel like a piece of me has been taken from me. I feel incomplete and I have no worthy reason to be alive. "Why am I here? Why am I feeling like this? What has your love done to me?"
Life is unfair, it give me all I've ever wanted and more then in a split second, when I least expect it...It all fades into the darkness of the night. Yet another night lonely night, a broken heart & I'm a lost soul in tears...
Being in the presence of loved ones, yet feeling so alone. All I ever think about is you, how I miss you, long for you. All those moments we shared...
4th March-First time I kissed you, had a proper conversation. All the stupid things you said that night are now just memories...memories that I will cherish forever. "May I..." this question had me laughing all night, weird how you asked for permission when most guys just try their luck and see how far it gets them. You were a true gentleman that evening. :)
6th March-Spent time together, it was a lazy Sunday afternoon and you had just gotten back from Potch with the band. A lot happened on this day, I remember it like it was yesterday, it was as though we've known each other for years... I remember you laying next to me as I fell asleep and then you suddenly said "Oh shit, I need to call my girl and say goodnight" I freaked out as you made that call only to realise you were calling me (**,) I blushed and answered the call...
Talking to you on the phone yet you were right there next to me, "Bubu, goodnight okay.. wishing you the sweetest dreams..." =) It was official, I was falling for you and I loved every single moment of it.
From that day every day was a special one, late nights cuddling and chatting till I fell asleep then he would quietly sneak out and go to his place, a floor beneath mine.
18th March-We fought, I felt like shit the day after. Those two days without you felt like years, I hadn't cried this much because of a guy.
20th March-He called, came over sat next to me, kissed my forehead and said "Don't you ever cry because of me again, It breaks my heart seeing you like this". We cuddled, He sang to me till I fell asleep. Day after this we stayed indoors all day talking.
Because of all these moments, we became even closer & stronger, or at least thats what I thought.
But it was just the begining of many more arguements...Like the one about my past (._.) till today I don't know what it is exactly that you heard. We've had our share of ups and downs. Today I'm sitting here alone expressing my thoughts. All I have is this piece of paper and a pen. It's been almost a week since I last saw you...4 days since I heard your voice.
Been crying in the darkness of BC445 all by myself, this was once our space. Been trying to reach out to you but you keep pulling back and forth, letting me down. You gave up on us, and I just couldn't. But then again I can't force you to stay in this relationship.
It was hard for me but I had to let you go, decide what you want and what you felt was best for you. I found happiness with you but the JOY was what kept me with you. It's because of all of this that I am now stronger.
A womans tears can make her strong, independent and teach you how to Love again. After all true Love is a miracle.
"Not every person that's in-love is in a relationships and not every person in a relationship is in-love"
xoxo B*
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